Writer's Block: No Foolin'

looking into the mirror @ 5 AM.  no spring chicken here, i should have ended up in the stewpot quite awhile ago.! however, i wear my tough-old-bird persona with pride....
the age in your eyes cannot over-ride the joy and wisdom in your heart.

abandoning stewardship of our waters

WE are our own predators.... far from the "stewardship" we were given in "the Garden", we wear the
'greedy hat ' all over the planet! its not enough to blame GMO's or fertilizer/chemical-companies, coal-fired electric plants and rising
carbon emissions from too many millions of cars and trucks.
we need to take a good long look in the mirror.. it is our own overpopulation, as well as
our rampant and astounding consumption
of the resources in our world.

one of the biggest issues for our future on this earth is the "ownership"of water.
out West, every drop of the colorado river already belongs to some entity, plus most every city
down the line to LA. it is true of many big rivers and reservoirs in the dry western states.
as frequent drought has moved east, and closer to my world, there is the big
atlanta/ alabama/ florida battle over allocation of the water in chattahoochee-eufala-apalachicola river system. this has been a very long-time controversy, ongoing since i heard about it from the local folks'
accounts of changes in the Bay and their fears about it, back in'98...10 years ago, now.

one of the most productive estuaries in the one of the last of the living 'big bays' is in
trouble...mostly from insufficient fresh water: the effects of longterm severe
drought in the South, as well as receiving the concentrated yuppie urine etc etc. from upstream.
the apalachicola bay ecosystem is slowly suffering; once so bounteous, and full of life... the fish,
the birds, and the shrimp, crab and oysters are now slowly trying to readjust to the increasingly saline waters, as well as to man's increasing presence and pollution
of the surrounding environment.
unfortunately, abundant bay life stems from the proper ecological balance of
fresh and ocean waters...
which is fluctuating and diminishing more and more every season.
when you read the apalachicola (end-of-the-line) side of things in the florida news-
papers there is much more clear reporting of the issue....rather than our current
governer's ignorant and uncaring remarks about "them 'lil' ole mussels are just gonna have to
crawl a little farther to get to the water". up in lake lanier country, they choose their huge boats
over the health of the river's path elsewhere. their belief seems to be simply use and abuse,
forgetting the connection to all the waters of this living earth.

this whole story brings me such grief, if only for the memory of how incredibly beautiful the
florida 'panhandle' area was when i was first there(1978) the closest i will ever get to paradise. totally wild and undeveloped, full of migrating birds, butterflies and huge dragonflies.
no people, a wilderness upriver like a tarzan movie, with big palms, cypress and big alligators.
the bay waters were fertile and clean in eco-balance with the salty sea.
oysters galore, gathered and eaten right out of the bay, with no fear of the many
parasites/bacterial infection/algae blooms(red tides) present in the overworked waters of today.
long gorgeous bare white beaches beside the placid gulf waters..
did i mention no people?

the "people-in-charge", the fatcats and suits, should remember that our greatest resource is water. that its loss means death for us all, just like the air we breathe. these precious resources should be free, our rights to them paramount.
definitely forever OUTSIDE of ever-present monetary considerations.

i picture a world where those in big business have to wear red ' greedy hats '....
they are shaped like catholic bishops mitres, only not so big or nice.
i want to know who they are, and who to watch out for.....
it would be nice to see all those wall st. capitalists and brokers and CEO's
and bankers involved required to wear this proof of identity while they desperately
scramble to pick our pockets like india's beggar-children

a haiku for today:

Capitalism , Communism..... we all do wear the ' greedy hat '

form or function?

i have been continuing to twitter haiku every morning, some are in classic 5-7-5 syllable form,
but in twitter you cannot  really tell.... there is no ordering of words, other than a  straight line of byts. 
when i realized this, i  began
writing more for the words themselves, than the word-form of 3 lines. 
often i found myself using the  'fusion'  form of haiku
just the17 syllables that relate a clear  'real'  moment or a tiny revelation of grace.
even in my brief communications with "friends", i write in 17 syllables, always.  
so far, it has been an excellent morning "brain gym",   as stimulating as the coffee.....

i've played around with haiku for a very long time, exchanging  them with various friends and fellow
writers over the years. nothing tops a good game of haiku;   the "conversation" becomes brief
and beautiful, right-to-the-point... often, over time, even addictive.
although twitter is a medium for fast connections and links, and comments on what the world is doing at
any given moment....each morning, my "what are you doing" is writing haiku. it's a nice combination of
form and function; i often ponder which is which as i count syllables on my fingers. what am i doing right now?
i am temporally writing haiku, in e-world......... as spiritually as i can.

i wish now that i had kept track of every one, on postcards and old papers , scribbled on the back of an envelope
while driving......endless exchanges of beautifully precise poems.  i have held onto many, and once more, as i re-read them,
i see how the process functions to reduce the babble and tranquilize the monkey mind.
writing haiku allows a practice of poetic consideration to both focus and relax your mind.
these deliberately concise images convey the beauty of all life in just a few words.  
this form of poetry, gives the both the writer and the reader the experience of  a tiny  'Aha!' moment.
its brevity and its beauty are understandable, and quickly realized. 
i believe haiku teaches each of us to reduce the external noise, and fully apprehend the beauty
of the present moment....between  form and  function, it makes no difference in this very
small bit of the dreaming-world.

-vernal-

i hear the voices,
the sandhill cranes returning
from southern winters.

vty,  J-lea

seeds and metaphor

sunday seed sermon posted by johanna_lea @http:// ilonagarden.blogspot.com/

spring song in darkness

here in the south, it is the time when spring peepers sing the hallelujah chorus in every ditch, pond and puddle. their voices
swell,  ebb and flow beginning @ around dark-thirty.  later,if you happen outside in the cool night air, they're still partying out there...
as in every living being's life cycles, this is their window of opportunity..... "hallelujah! hallelujah!" ....an orgy in each puddle.
on some nights the warming air keeps them at it at such frantic levels, it actually gets louder, fuller. a great wild party full of pheromones, and lovesongs , wild dancing.... been there, done that . and a very
good time was had by all.   'nuff said...

i have written my twitter haiku about this very subject . latest  this AM: 

flies, women and song...
these tiny  little peeper guys
have  got it made.

i find a sort of perverse pleasure in hanging this daily haiku practice on the newest, shortest and most superficial, self-important, e-quiktrick medium yet..... we think and communicate in shorter and shorter byts. 
the concise haiku form fits quite well.  they're 'Hi-brow tweets' (is that an oxymoron?)  
what has become of us, who still actually write stuff in notebooks!
twitter is fluff, it is simply "much ado about nothing"---but if i can write for a year, i might have a book deal outta it... hah!
an entire year of daily "what am i doing right now "  .....which is haiku. 
enjoy the spring singing.    right at this very minute, the hallelujah chorus is being sung on NPR!!    

vty, J_lea

p/s  if you haiku, too.  my twitter name is  'ndawnis'    an ojibwe word for daughter. come out and play.

Tossed Salad Society

it appears that my recent "salad days" post has inspired my gardening friend and e-mentor,
(and this old friend) to conceptualize.... re: a new society of fresh green creative thinkers. 
although we are most definitely TOSSED, and are pulled in so many different directions in our daily lives,
our renewed friendship, and common interests seem to be spawning many new plans and concepts.
"what if" and "transforming into" becomes" when and where, and how?"

i have already created a collage for a logo, or even a tshirt.....we sit in a big bowl of good fresh salad stuff, 
elegantly sipping champagne  ( perrier?)  this new 'birth' has no set goal but to unite fresh green 'tossed' people....
find eachother, and create dialog and conversation about our many new ideas. we will certainly enjoy the
project together, whichever path it may take will be interesting.

i'm certain this rush of inspiration and enthusiasm comes with the return of spring. as the air becomes
soft and warm and breezy, we naturally come out of hibernation( "where is the nearest  honeybee tree?")
and begin another yearly cycle.
i am definitely a winter low-light , low-moodish being, but i'll now come to the sunlight, looking
for new ways to grow and change.... as long as these waves of inspiration last,  i'll surf 'em.
fellow tossed salads, unite!

vty J_lea

salad sermon

 i wrote here of reconnecting with a dear friend from my long ago "salad"days---i suppose that can
be read as "fresh, young and green"---- but as we catch up, i am noticing that "salad days" have
very little connection to youth; we discuss them freely like the mature hens that we are.  it is more
the freshness or newness of a project, a garden plan, or a new direction followed....or a new
decision made-for-sure!  we all have many small changes that we make daily, without attention
to what the results may be. living thoughtlessly is its own punishment.

if we can just retain that freshness of mind, and that creative spark that keeps us charged with energy,
then our life's path--long and winding and full of ruts--stays lively and full of hope and wonder
at the unique beauty of it all.. we wake up  eager to see what's up ahead  around the bend,
rather than cringing fearfully at what each next day might bring. no one can "tell" this truth to
others; we are often just drawn to contented souls, and witness the joy within them;  in observing
their way to happiness,  they show us hints of the good-lived life by their example.....
even those elderly garden ladies, in their gloves and straw hats  busy at planting the new
entrance to the senior center, are living with joy and creating a flowerbed that none may even
live to see develop into its full beauty. it is a good feeling to live full of hope.
living in present time allows you full rich enjoyment of every small moment in each day, each season
or even each passing year. what is past is alive only in memory. 
and by our own hand, we write each new chapter.... by the many "fresh, green" thoughts
that come to us, and that we proceed to bring to fruition in our lives.

for those that are bored, or living dull repetitive lives, or perhaps deep in a rut with no way out,
the ability to climb out, or break through is within all of  us.   it is how we direct our attention, with love
and gratitude to be alive that bring us into alignment with the the possibilities of living out our
"salad days", sometimes every day.   no matter what our life brings, the positive possibilities of tomorrow
can still take root in our busy minds. leave the low expectations alone, 'cause that's all you will get.

much love and many thanks to my friend and sister,  who has inspired me out of my winter shell
into such springish anticipations.  i think fate has brought us back to each-other to be mutual catalysts.
for the gift of these "salad days", i am both grateful  to you and honored by your enthusiasm.

small affirmation

i found a B/w copy of one of my very first collages,from very way back... i had experimented
periodically..... long before it became a passion. i have no idea where the original is.
nevertheless, it was this bit of poetry that grabbed me, so i put dozens of 15th century angels
all around the text. mood was celtic ethereal. i want to pass it along, for it is really our intention,
and where we focus  our attention that reveals to us the direction of our life's path.
these words address that so very well. enjoy.


"Attention is love, what we must give

children, mothers, fathers, pets,

our friends, the news, the woes of others.

What we want to change, we curse and then

pick up a tool.  Bless whatever you can

with eyes and hands and tongue. If you

can't bless it,  get ready to make it new..."

by: marge piercy

wordplay

i just discovered a daily haiku community here a@ L/J.....have written haiku for many
years, both traditional form ( 5-7-5, 17 syllables - 3 lines ) also Fusion haiku, american style with 17
meaningful syllables, more freeform, not as rigidly arranged, as within traditional format .
since both require concentration, and express images beautifully, i write them in both ways .
its the whole concise image that interests me, altho if i can fit a composition into traditional
japanese form,  i usually choose to... 
when i am in a writing state, and find myself  creating haiku,  i often  find myself speaking
in haiku, as well.  this brain adaptation to a practice is fascinating.
i am certain that songwriting produces this too, or any poet working in certain form, rhythm or meter.
i will say something, then count on my fingers, perhaps refine a bit, and there it is.

i decided to try to post a haiku daily as my twitter posts. it has been a fine way to communicate
what is my world and that what i am doing is haiku.  it's a discipline for my mind as i watch
the morning unfold. hmmmm

morning unfolding
witness to each new day's light
i worship at dawn.

pale misty warming light
wakes the horses as they doze,
rise, shake and shine.

to me both forms are small, lovely bits of a moment,   and with translation from japanese to
english often adding more syllables, i accept and enjoy writing in each style.
each is a precise little expression from my busy mind;  they give me focus as
i have my coffee and begin a new day.

so my goal is to continue to twitter in haiku.  i am new to both these forums, but one must
not linger in the olden days before   "social networking" and electric friends.


twittering haiku
marriage of old and new forms
births new creations.

tweet tweet, i am here!
mixing old and new concepts
can bring great delight.

i think i'll use one of these @ twitter this AM....will be returning here to prose form directly.

connection without connection

it has come to my attention that i have no idea what tags are. i just noticed my tag lists are more like subtitles than searchable info-bits.....i'm ignorant, as well, as to the exact nature and protocol of the interlocked web of "friends" within the web.
although i have used email for ever so long, but not much else online, the new "social networking" aspect of the internet is  very odd territory.
i am learning by doing, and observing the many clues that these new forms require in order to interact.
it's like being at my first jr.high dance. who's gonna ask me to dance, and how do i follow the steps?

actually, the social aspect is rather strange. you cannot just just say hello to someone, as you would at a
party...you must friend, or invite to be friended, with formal invitations by email, all ways to keep things
secure and private. which is the opposite of how human interactions happen.

imagine a really interesting guy at a friend-of-a -friend's party ( in "real" life, people). if you wanted to meet him
by e-rules, you would ask your friend to ask her friend to invite him to converse. then he would accept his friend's invitation,
at which point she would convey to your friend that its ok, and then your friend could invite him
to friend you.... whew.

my ideas about doing a blog were to enter into e-society, to expand my horizons beyond this small
country community where i have lived for years,
and to find some interesting interactions with new and different people, with like-minds and/or different ideas.....rural living is a great gift,   but there arent coffee shops closer than 25 miles down the road.   sometimes the brain needs "refreshing".
i find this new writing space so strange and interesting.  is it truly any different than writing in
a journal beside the bed, for only you to see? it seems more like hanging flyers on telephone poles
along the  roadside.
my intention is to follow through in this curious medium,  just to see what i can see...... and say what i can say
and i suppose, see what i can say.....ad infinitum.     vty, J_lea

spiritual guides

after writing about bonsai. i realized that my description of them was pretty good metaphor for spiritual truth.
there are many little steps and tiny cuts on life's path to inner peace. true care and cultivation and appreciation
are a daily practice which is never-ending.... so too, is the way to live with faith. good practice and love are necessary
elements in our lives. we thrive on gentle thoughts and deeds. the gift rewards both the giver and the recipient.
the love and attention that we give to our own family is so like the the following of a little tree. all are present in our
lives to remind us to live with no expectations. we will find our way through every twist and turn and broken branch.
the process of our lives continues, whether we reach a goal or not.  failure and heartbreak are part of the whole,
but with mindful and loving care,  we can turn each problem towards another solution.... take what we can,
and prune the rest,  or proceed in an entirely new direction....life goes on.

cultivation of time and patience was my way into a faith in the future. the earth heals and re-heals herself
constantly, with every growing life following in turn through the seasons. our lives unfold like any other
changing,  living thing.  let the past fall away,  tend  your garden in  present time, and keep good
thoughts about the road ahead. just like a little tree, many changes will come, and add to the beauty of it all.

on the other hand, when darkness descends and we live in shadow, it is hard to see any beauty around you.
in these times, keeping to the practice of attention to our loved ones, in every form,  heals and tends to the 
inner self as well.
it is at this point  where faith in life can pull you through back into Light.....  and hold you there.

little trees

i have kept and created bonsai trees for the last 20 years. i still have the first one i ever bought, a mini boxwood grove from a roadside stand in florida.
i have the very first one that i made myself from a seedling.... it is now a lovely ,open -style
pink- flowered crabapple that presents with tiny red fruit every couple of seasons.  early on, my focus was just on collecting....finding nice trees and adding them to my benches.
i have four "really good" specimen trees that i purchased from growers or other collectors. 
these can be quite expensive, and these trees are older and grander as they've aged; they have
served  as templates for my first attempts at shaping m.y own trees.
just  learning their care and cultivation was enough to absorb when i started out with bonsai.
they are little trees, hardy and rugged, treated the opposite of most "common knowledge" about
growing plants.

as i began to make my own trees, i was astonished at all the little details involved in guiding
their growth progress, their shape and their  small branches.
one must develop good pruning and specific repotting skills, as well as practice the ability to visualize the end result and the path needed to get there.
the process of making and tending bonsai is one of much time and many tiny cuts, always looking,
considering and studying the form of each tree.

my "eye" for trees improved during my first experiments, as did my confidence. i began digging things up in the woods, a cow-chewed american holly with a wide trunk, eaten down to 7"tall,.a small but old azalea that a neighbor wanted to get rid of....a rooted branch off the big chinese quince in my backyard....
each with its own little puzzle to work out, with no real right or wrong way to put it all together.
i learned a valuable piece of advice from an old bonsai friend--"always follow the shape
and growth of the natural tree"--- if it is bowed and bent by nature, by all means make a crooked tree.
do not try to make a cascading tree from an upright  young hardwood.

Bonsai is an art form as creative and fascinating as any other means of self expression.
the one major difference is in the element of Time.
a painting or a collage takes perhaps a day, or two......a photograph an even shorter period.
with the advent of digital technology, we can now have whatever we want with one click...

tending bonsai teaches patience.....for nature gives to each its season....and time passes in
its annual procession through every time of the year.
no super-fertilizer or pulling on their roots will make them grow faster or better.  each tree has its own timeline and grows slowly
into its own unique shape, forming and turning with the years.    the act of creation is an ongoing progression....it changes and changes, but never comes to an end,  for as long as there is life
left in the tree.

it is in the 'making' and not in the 'made' ... where we fully enjoy the bonsai. like the natural
world around us, they reveal such beauty in the cycles of the earth.

remembering

i have re-connected with a friend from ancient times -6th grade!- who has brought both great joy
and old memories into my life, at a time when i could use the lift from daily life and all its baggage.
we seem to find and re-find eachother over these many years.... on our paths, although widely divergent,
we still found similar passions and interests; they allow us to slip effortlessly into our friendship
as if we hadnt been gone at all. the nature of such a surprising gift is the mark of a true friendship.
i have been very lucky to have many true friends in my life. an extended family, so to speak....
i visualize a web of lovingkindness of which i am an honored member. i partake freely of their
loving energy when i am in need, and freely give my love and support back to all.

so along comes the beautiful one, a catalyst for what has been the next steps towards being a 'real'
e-presence and putting my art out there for all to see. as well as long lively conversations, i value her
knowledge and kindness at sharing it all with me. we were both creative 12 year-olds, her interest was
art and i was a writer. i can remember walking to school deep in serious discussion of what our
lives would be like, our expectations, boyfriends, and demon mothers.
each time our paths crossed, we had new discussions about new things we had encountered....kids, homeschooling, growing food, glorious flower gardens....

now i find that i have followed the muse into collage art, and she is networked and writing profusely--well versed in technology and deeply engaged in her writing about her many
interests online. we are far, far from those jr high girls, we are now seasoned women, with
new memories to create. i am doing alot of writing, and she's thinking about making art.....

i am grateful and glad to begin still another chapter....... thanks, i. your pal, j.

mirrors

i live with dogs and horses, three of each....it has been said that dogs reflect their owners' personalities.
horses are also very good at tuning in to your moods and feelings, so they are mirrors,as well.
case in point: my dogs are #1 manic,obsessive,eager to please, runs all day, a herder and guardian of livestock
#2 calm, intelligent, psychic, sweet natured, has never, ever done anything wrong in her life---a perfect dog!
#3 very loving, lazy, voracious eater, rabbit hunter, bed sleeper, barks at the moon.

horse#1 gorgeous, classy, intelligent, flighty, wary , excitable, a spirited sensitive beauty.
#2 extremely calm and gentle, fearless, steady, loves people like a puppydog.
#3 is an old mule,blind in one eye....very smart/stubborn (duh)  long loud vocalizer, constantly.
a voice in the wilderness. walks slow and stands around alot. doesnt move much, she's an old gal.

i suppose it is a sort of transference, or just reflected in my descriptions of them, but i can see
these qualities in myself.  i am bipolar.... so i have many moods.    when i am very creative, i am #1.
excitable, with very high energy, often nervy and irritable, but hardworking and very social as well.
my main mood these days has been #2.....i am a very open gentle person, i seek calm as a center,
and ( aagh) i take my meds.
i am still creative but less wildly possessed. i get enough sleep!!  living in the middle....its ok.
#3 i consider my downside.....i am self-indulgent, spend too much time wasting mornings on email and coffee, low motivation, love to harmonize with radio songs. get stuck in stubborn inactive mode....
give me a warm spot and a book and i'll not budge for hours. i am at standstill, "frozen." i dont
move around much and feel like an old gal, stumbling around in the dark.

since i am sort of reclusive, and live out in the country, i will take my reflections where i find them.
i dont know if it's true, but it's my truth.

greetings and salutations

i am a collage artist and writer.  right now, i am writing the story for each work- i have 74 pictures so far, and this journal
seems a very good place to display and explain my pictures, both to others as well as to follow the imagery back to a sort  of unconscious process in myself. have studied art history, been a photographer all my life, but never have been so instantly
captured by the muse as when i did my first work, three years ago. i have ideas about marketing some of this work, but the process of making it is always the main kick, for me.
i am somewhat private person, but bringing  this into the light will
be an interesting exercise in self-exposure, and hopefully self-knowlege.  submitting my creations to the wide-open eyes of
the e-world may yield valuable comments/ shared experience.    so hello....glad to be here.    J_lea